Kylie J

I like this story. It's got a good plot so far and is interesting to readers. I only got through chapter one, but when I have more time I'll probably ...

The style this is written in is hard for readers to understand. Half the time I had no clue who was talking, or what they were talking about. You should ...

Wow, so good. And I mean that in the good-but-totally-creepy-and-almost-grossing-me-out kinda way. But good. The only problem I had was in the first chapter, it mentions Bryant is perfect too ...

The one line that I didn't like: it was annoyingly sweet and fake, but it reminded me of certain events. It's too vague. You either need to specify some "certain ...

I agree, this was well-written. The one thing I would change: she asked searching for the aqua colored Volkswagen van from the 70s in the darkness. It sounds like you're ...

I think the plot is fine. The pace really isn't slow, it's just told in a very detailed form. The descriptions are especially great, the one that really stuck out ...

The last line does have the Jr. High sense, like Misty Lynn said, and if that's what you were going for, you got it. Personally, I would take out the ...

Well, the first stanza was enjoyable. It had great descriptions and made sense to me. The rest was a blur. I didn't get the third stanza. I think I understand ...

First let me say, this was very well-written. I once posted a story without describing enough of the character's background, and it did not fare well with reviews. Your story ...

I think we need a clearer idea of what the story's going to be about before we give suggestions. Also, what exactly do you want help with? Plot? Character? Chapter ...

The difficulty I had with this is that I didn't know what it was talking about. My French isn't that great, but from the title I knew it was something ...

Wow. This is really great. The words are powerful and leave haunting images in your mind - its really well-written. The one thing I would change is to add a ...

Ooh, this was really good with descriptions. Your details were very vivid, it made me feel like I was there. My favorite line was: "the sun has bled its way ...

Wow I think this poem has a really great idea, how the design booth can mean such different things to people. The main thing that really bothered me was you ...

Mattie I liked it a lot but it could use more descriptions. Right now, it's just actions like you watching the guy dancing with the girl and crying and whatnot, ...